confessions of a semi-perfectionista

i'm not a perfectionist in all areas - just come see my house. but my tendencies tend to sneak up in the most curious of places, usually in areas that i feel vulnerable & especially anything i've put my creative heart into. this includes cooking. i could tell you about the time my inlaws came to visit us last summer & i burnt the toast i was making for our breakfast. despite all of their attempts to convince me that it was really okay - they all absolutely love "blackened bread" & usually make it that way on purpose (!), i only casually listened as i grabbed my keys & headed for kroger - no one was going to be served overly toasted toast in my house!!!!

and this is just a minor cooking mishap compared to the way i acted when clint & i were first married (okay, & occasionally now). i fell apart if the pesto i made was too salty, or the mushrooms overcooked. i seriously couldn't handle it, & poor clint was left not only to a bad dinner, but also an inconsolable, sulky wife. neat... so i have some issues (or as my friend, jen powell would said - "ish" - would you say that, too darrah??). (***i must make a side note here that clint was so cheery & sweet about anything i ever cooked/cook - i think he got it from his parents - the "we like blackened bread" people.)

anyway, today i was dealing with this particular ish of mine (which truly is probably a good old helping of feeling like my worth isn't in who i am, but in what i can do, with a little sprinkle of insecurity), and i had a thought. these things come every once in a fleeting while. i realized that if you're set on being perfect - on having no flaws - you need no one. if your goal is to present to the world a bright, shining beam of perfection, then people will probably respond with feeling #1 like they aren't good enough, & #2 like you don't need them anyway. and that's not what i want. i really desire to be available to people & be have them be available to me - you know - know, & be known. but that's messy - that means showing people my crap. how can anyone journey with me (or me with them) if i act like i don't need them? if i feel lonely sometimes, maybe that's why!

i hate that my inlaws know that i sometimes burn toast, but if i hadn't done that, i wouldn't have been able to receive their gift to me - their acceptance of me & my burnt bread. and i wouldn't have been able to take that trip to the store with my mother-in-law insisting on coming with me & buying the new bread - all the while assuring me that she's done the same thing a million times & that no one will let her make toast anymore b/c of it! she was exaggerating - they all were, but it was so sweet i didn't care :)

so i'm giving up the perfectionism - okay? i'm done. it's over, gone... thank goodness i don't have to cook dinner tonight :)

ice cream cures all woes

so sundays usually go this way - we wake up early, we drive all the way to church, we enjoy, we sometimes eat with friends, but we ALWAYS come home & take a looooong nap. we always do this - all three of us. well, today someone didn't conform to this long held harp family tradition. and i'm betting you can guess who that was! one of the most horrible things i can think of is when you're so tired & wanting a nap & you suddenly hear the whining start over the monitor - ahhhhhhh! it's awful! anyway, little harp wasn't into the nap today, so finally after much whining & grumpiness on my part, i declared that if i had to get up & get him, we were going to go get ice cream!

so ben & jerry's it was. it was our first time to visit here. we used to frequent one when we lived in florida, & i'm not really sure why it took us so long to get there this time! i LOVE the chocolate & peanutbutter - i sample other things, but i always know in my heart i'll go back to my beloved :) i know that's dramatic, but i seriously love it - jen can understand! clint always gets random things (which is so funny b/c we totally switch roles when it comes to food in restaurants) & this time he enjoyed cinnamon roll. it was quite good, & as you can see, little harp thought so too!!! we didn't plan for this to be his first venture into the land of sweets - i just looked over, & he was head first into clint's cone! clint just let him have it, & he was a happy little guy. we laughed so hard @ the seriousness he brought to sampling his first ice cream. it's fitting for his personality, really. he's fun loving & sweet, but definitely has an observant, serious side.

it was all fun & games until we went to get in the car & he had to get in sans ice cream cone. he literally threw a fit!!!!! it was really funny. he was kicking & crying. whoa, if that doesn't tell you something about what sugar does to us...! too bad i won't heed that warning & quit ben & jerry's - it's just too good :)

happy sunday to you!

sicky again - round 34 (it feels like!)

h is sick AGAIN. he's had a cold for just under 2 weeks & we finally took him in last night - double ear infection & fever! pooooooor baby. i feel so bad for him. i had lots of ear infections when i was little & i remember them hurting so bad that i couldn't stand it. he's been a little crankier lately, but it's so hard to know if it's his ears, or teeth, or just a stage... aye-yi-yi! anyway, the sweet on-call doctor assured me that it was okay, & we couldn't bring him in for every little thing, so we did the right thing in waiting, but it kills me that he's been hurting for who knows when?!!!

so we're on antibiotics for the THIRD time in 3 months - not good. thank goodness we've used the same one each time. i can't help but feel a little uneasy about this, though. i know antibiotics kill everything in your system - good & bad bacteria. but when he has a double ear infection & i'm pretty sure it's been there for a while, i don't see how i can opt out of them! my friend recommended garlic drops - they supposedly help w/ healing & the pain. when little harp is old enough & can tell me when his ears start hurting, i'll use things like this, but it's so hard when they can't talk!

i don't want to be a paranoid parent, but i can't help but be concerned about things like autism. i know the american academy of pediatrics assures us that it's not caused by things like vaccines, & i'm sure they would laugh in my face if they knew i'm just a little worried about antibiotics! but something is causing all of these babies to fall somewhere in the autism spectrum, & it is an autoimmune disease (or disorder?). i didn't know that until a few months ago.

okay, well, that's my beef these days. not sure that's really a "beef" - more of a worry, but it sounded funny to write that, so i did. if you're the praying kind & you think about it - pray for hudson. i think his immune system is down - he seems to catch things & then not let them go! maybe he's just too sweet & they like him too much :) anyway, a mom's got to worry - that's my job, i guess. you can pray for me, too - clint & i. we're researching vaccines & are thinking of having his 12 month shots spaced out, rather than getting them all at once. his immune system just doesn't seem strong, & we think it doesn't need more bugs at the moment!

okay, that's me lately! that & sewing up a storm. i've had lots of orders lately - very fun! i'm trying to blog more - you can pray for that, too - hahahahaaa!

***the picture has nothing to do with this blog, if you're wondering - it's so cute that i had to share!

fun with sammy & new alacrity stuff

i have been miss busy bee lately!!! it's so funny to go from being bored with nothing to do, to feeling like you're using every spare minute of your days. my mom & i were talking the other day about how that's just life - rarely are things perfectly balanced - we often have too much of something, or not enough! i'm trying to just enjoy. our house is a mess - the floors are in dire need of the vacuum cleaner, not to mention the bathrooms, but oh well! little harp & i are feeling much better than last week (thanks to clint who deserves the incredible dad & husband award for nursing us through last week!!!) & i finished TONS of sewing, so i'm happy!

these are pics of the recent creations - being shipped off to nyc & tyler today! my good friend's mom is taking some things in to a boutique-ish store in tyler to see if they'd like to sell them! exciting :) she just called me & asked if she could take them in for me - i'm so thankful! so if you're in tyler, stop by Snug as a Bug & tell them you'd like them to carry alacrity designs!!!

so these are the new creations - new onesie designs & also a new gift set i'm doing. it's a little lovie blanket w/ fun fabric on one side & the softest minky dot fabric on the other. you also get a onesie & burp cloth with the set - it's $40 & comes neatly wrapped - ready to give. i can't decide if i like the blue apple/pear set the best, or the yellow bird!!! both are SO fun & make me want to have another one!!!! well, sort of... hahahahaaaa!

more designs, details & pics @ my etsy shop - the link is in the upper right hand corner of this page.

and the other pics are from 2 weeks ago when sammy williams came to visit us. they had lots of fun with each other! h even shared his cold with samuel - what a sweet guy!!! (we hope you're better sammy sosa!)

hope everyone is well & having a happy monday!

american idol

okay, so did you catch "shout to the lord" TWICE this week on american idol? what in the world???? clint & i just sat there totally puzzled @ this. we couldn't decide just what we thought. it was just weird.

were the producers trying to drum up some cash from the "willowcreek" crowd, who they thought might download the song? but then again, aren't the proceeds of downloads going to "idol gives back"? i just can't figure this one out, folks! i'd love to think some big shot just wanted to do a song they thought would make a lot of $$ for charity, but that's really a long shot... but maybe it's a first?!

what did you think?

ps - the true tragedy of this week is michael johns going home. you've got to be kidding me! he was one of our favs. sadness.

sorry, rich

so i'm still listening to that same rich mullins cd. i'm with you, sandra - we listen to the same cd over & over again until we're sick to death of it & then finally switch! she's currently into an old dave matthews. maybe we should switch?!
anyway, there's this one song that i've always skipped as soon as i hear the first note. this is mostly due to the fact that the beginning is some kind of super cheesy wind flute or something. i mean seriously, rich - what were you thinking?? it's so bad. it reminds me of this guy who always played @ the george v metro station in paris. he played some kind of funky wind instrument & the song was always something of celin dion. except maybe he did play, "a whole new world", now that i think of it. anyway the point is that the beginning is everything you hate in a song. but now that i'm a mom, i find that i don't always have the presence of mind to do things i used to - like turn off cheesy songs. i usually find myself singing along to them in the car until i realize - wait, what the heck is this??
so i ended up listening to this song, & now i have to apologize to rich! while you got the horrible wind instrument deal wrong, you wrote some really great lyrics, & i'm sorry i never listened to them before! i think they're super appropriate for the time we find ourselves in. if i were a singer, i would redo this song (sans wind flute!) & dedicate it to my sister, who i feel has a special calling in the world of government & politics. i'm really thankful for people like her who are passionate about something & live it out. it's an example i think, to all of us. we can't all be passionate about everything, so if we do what we can with what we have, & share it, i think we bless the world. i don't always have time to research & read all about important things like animal rights, bias media, whether or not capitalism is working for good, our food supply, etc... but i know my sister will be blogging about it & i can join the conversation there!
anyway, she wrote a couple of really good & truthful entries that reminded me that government, & really the human heart are never going to be the answer to our issues. only the love described by that jesus guy (you know, the one who washed people's nasty feet & loved on prostitutes) can suffice. anything else just stinks of the worst parts of our humanity.
okay & since i'm not a singer & won't be recording this song on an album, i'll type out a few of the lyrics. i feel this song is especially appropriate at a time like this when high ranking officials spend thousands of dollars on illigal prostitution, we're waging a horrific war in iraq & afghanistan(this is not a political statement - it's horrific whether you're for it, or not), the chinese government won't even let it's citizens view internet cites about how they're oppressing people in tibet, a young 17 yr old kid in our church was died last week from a drive by, & on & on. sometimes i think i could be depressed by all of the sadness in our world. where does one even start to help?

in these lyrics, i hope you feel just that - hope.


why do the nations rage?
why do they plot & scheme?
their bullets can't stop the prayers we pray in the name of the prince of peace.

things may look bad
things may look grim
but all these things will pass except the things that are of him.

where are the nails that pierced his hands?
the nails have turned to rust, but not so the man.
he's risen & he reigns
in the hearts of the children rising up in his name.

where are the thorns that drew his blood?
the thorns have turned to rust, but not so the love.
(line i can't understand)
it remains in the hearts of the children who will love while the nations rage.


the message to me is to remember that one day in the kingdom of god, all of this sadness, all of the death, the injustice, all of the horrific things that happen in our world everyday, ALL of it will be gone. it will be gone like the nails & thorns are gone. death & destruction will not conqueor us. and until that day, we strive to make the world a teeny bit better in our teeny little corner. and part of that is living out our passion. so thank you, johnna.



**alacrity news - 2 of the 4 onesies @ treehouse already sold!!!!!! yaaaaaaaaaaay!

nyc hearts me!!!

okay, well maybe the WHOLE city doesn't love me (yet!), but one store in brooklyn does!!! yes, that's right, alacrity designs is being sold in an ADORABLE little shop in brooklyn, called Treehouse - check it out!

they chose 4 of my onesie designs to sell & wanted to keep them for an event they're having TODAY (i had planned to get the ones i sent back as samples & then send whatever they ordered). so i'm really totally psyched (did i just say "psyched"??!). i feel like dolly parton in steel magnolias, when spud surprises her with a second beauty shop downtown & she exclaims, "i'm a CHAIN!!!" i love that movie.

so if you've purchased a onesie, you can feel so cool about it because it's cool enought to be sold in nyc, baby! haha!

clint & i celebrated with blizzards from dairy queen last night! i might just have to get another one today :)

road trip

i think i win an award for most insane road trip ever. it's a long story, but we decided to drive to georgia to visit family. mapquest says the trip should be 12 hrs, but that's with out stops, so let's say 13 or 14, okay? yeah, 17.5 hrs later, we finally made it back home. seriously. we left @ 5:30am & got home @ 11pm. whew, it was one loooooong day. our trip was elongated not because of car ish, but because of hudson ish. poor little guy. we had planned to feed him on the road, but when he puked ALL of his lunch all over himself & the car seat, we discovered that our boy just might have a tinge of car sickness.
so we had to stop for every meal to feed him & let it all digest. clint would take out a few suitcases & voila - our make shift play pen! hud loved it, & really it was nice to sit back & get some fresh air on that loooong trip.
i guess it wasn't that nice though, because we're pretty sure we're going to fly next time...


*alacrity news - the "buy a onesie, get it wrapped w/ a matching burp cloth free" deal is still going. tomorrow i resume sewing like a mad woman :) i've been pretty busy helping lots of you stock up on baby gifts - so fun! if you haven't seen the shop, check out www.alacritydesigns.etsy.com