inspiration

you'll have to excuse me if i get a little emotional today.
a little teary here & there.
the good kind, of course.
yesterday i found out a friend is having twins {TWINS!}, which only magnifies a truth i've been experiencing on a deeper level ever since we started this whole crazy adventure.
this is who god is to me.
a grandmother who sends a dollar to each of her plethora of grandchildren, children of her 12 children, knowing so very little can be bought for a dollar, but so very much is purchased with the tiniest gift of love.
the widow's mite.

god's gifts often seem to me too small. or way too big. not the way i'd like them to fit. not exactly what i wanted.
i'd rather have the latte cups from anthropologie, thank you.
but those cups won't ever teach be about the widow's mite, won't give me the eyes to see, the ears to hear.
god is so unbelieveably, inconceivably good. the universe is @ work all around us in the most amazing of ways & always, always for good.

good & sometimes totally overwhelming.
like twins.
TWO carseats
TWO cribs
5 million diapers x TWO
(breath, breath)
TWO babies to feed
TWO babies to get back to sleep
OMG.
but yet how incredible to be given new life... and TWO! double the insanity & double the beautiful, beautiful blessing. more love to share, more funny stories, more life to live, more gifts to give, more kisses, more squeezes, more giggles, more faces to see light up @ the wonder of a ladybug...

the universe is always @ work. always bringing me exactly what i need.
*sigh*
so beautiful.
i know my work is to remember this tomorrow when i get a little over(or under)whelmed with my "gifts".
:)

leaning

lately it seems like most people i know are going through one kind of struggle or another (if not several all @ once). it seems like we're all in a real bind. i wanted to share {with others & again with myself!} a few things that i'm leaning on these days...

*fair warning: this is likely to be lengthy!

"getting what you thought you really wanted rarely, if ever, transforms how you think & feel about life; in fact, it often darkens & deepens & magnifies the power that 'wanting' has over you. therefore, rather than 'working hard toward what you think you want' (which is like taking a very slow & treacherous boat to china), you can practice 'dying to how you think' & 'awakening to spirit', thereby saving yourself lots of time & energy. but most times, given our terrible fear of the unknown, we just tend to stay on the boat, @ least until life totally capsizes it."

-anonymous (from a friend's email)

"you get your confidence & intuition back by trusting yourself, by being militantly on your own side."

-anne lamott "bird by bird"

"unless the lord builds the house,

it's builders labor in vain.

unless the lord watches over the city,

the watchmen stand guard in vain.

in vain you rise early,

& stay up late,

toiling for food to eat -

for he grants sleep to

those he loves (& he loves you)."

-psalms 127

"my true religion is kindness."

-dalai lama (14)

(speaking of the above statement) "that is a great moral position - practicing kindess, keeping one's heart open in the presence of suffering."

-anne lamott "bird by bird"

"get over yourself! you're going to f' up! it'll be OK."

-claire dederer "poser"

"and so we know & rely on the love god has for us. god is love. whoever lives in love lives in god, & god in him... there is no fear in love. but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. the one who fears is not made perfect in love."

-book of I John 4:16, 18

and finishing with an "oldie, but a goodie"...

"he has shown you, o man,

what is good.

and what does the lord

require of you?

to act justly,

& to love mercy,

& to walk humbly with your god."

-book of micah 6:8

here & now

"be content with what you have;

 rejoice in the way things are.


when you realize there is nothing lacking,

the whole world belongs to you."

~ Lao Tzu

*inspiration & quote from soulemama

truth

"A perfectly kept house is the sign of a misspent life."

-mary randolf carter*

{put that in your pipe & smoke it.}

*found here

sickie, sickie, sick sick

today we decided a trip to the doctor was in order since hud threw up AGAIN last night.  say it with me, "bummer".

this has been the weirdest illness & i'm sure you want all the details, right??!  ha!  maaaaaybe he's finally okay as he hasn't had any symptoms all day today.  he seems to only get sick @ night, though so we shall see.
anyway, i don't have a ton to post as i've been a little preoccupied with the whole throwing up business, so i thought i'd share with you 2 thinks i recently found around the blog world that i've been inspired by... 

1.  LOOK @ these PANTS!  (from the made by rae site)
i'm dying over them! (saying that makes me think of the rachel zoe project even though i wish it didn't.  i wish i had never seen her show because she's so skinny it freaks me out, but the show kind of sucks you in - especially when you're feeding your baby & it's a choice of rachel zoe or pregnant & didn't know it - which, don't even get me started on that.) 

okay, so about those pants!  first off, i'm wondering how i could make some in my size - hello elastic waste & wide legs!!  how do you feel about mommy & me matching chambray pants?

also, saying "chambray" totally makes me think of middle school.  
 
2.  i also recently found THIS site.  you can take ecourses to learn all kinds of uber healthy cooking, like making your own soft cheeses (though really what i want to learn to make is mozzarella because really, what IS better than mozzarella?) & how to sprout your own seeds.  how weird do you think i am that i want to learn to sprout some seeds?  it's okay, i think i'm weird too.  i just think it's so interesting!


okay, just sharing a bit of my world this afternoon - barf, pants, sprouting.  yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

here's to a barf free evening!