tuesday morning

having a particularly tough morning wrestling with fear vs what i know to really be true. 
i'm posting this entry from my journal the other day as a sort of "place marker" for what i know is truth {even (especially!)when i don't particularly feel it}.


sitting here crafting.  loving it.  learning how to make crochet-ed circles.  can't get enough of white, cotton fabric crocheted circles!
i'm sitting in gratitude for time to do this.  for energy to do this.  for chocolate to munch as i write & clean water to gulp in this crazy heat.
am thankful for good friends, for gas to go see them (in tyler last week), for a car to ride (oh so comfortably) there.
even for the monitor that lets me know miss priss just woke up :)
i'm grateful for miss holland's fine little strawberry blonde curls & the way her baby head smells, even when sweaty.  i'm thankful for those hot little red cheeks, the gooshiness of them, & her little pouty red lips.  AND the back molars that allow her to eat more table food HALLELUJAH!
thankful for her soft baby belly, full of warm milk, & the sight of her half-chomping/half-gumming pita bread & scrambled eggs "like a big girl". 
she is truly a gift.
looking @ the h's, i better understand how incredibly special each one of us is.
looking @ my punkies, just thinking of their little red cheeks, their sweaty little hands, i grasp a teensy shred of the truth:  that each of us is so infinitely special, so truly fabulously incredible just exactly as we are.  it's of mind boggling proportions, our value, our worth.  so difficult to grasp, so hard to hold onto, so crucial to understanding.