Thursday, September 15, 2011

did you know....

& vituperate

...are all words relating to the words "to criticize or criticism"?

me, either.
that's why i have to study.
i'm taking the GRE soon.
double yikes.
yikes to the 6th power.

(haven't started studying for math yet.)

i applied to go back to school for a master's - something i've always wanted to do, but never quite gotten around to doing it.  i started a few classes @ smu several years ago when we lived in dallas, but the program wasn't really exactly what i wanted.  the problem was that i didn't know what i wanted!  and i when i don't know exactly what i want, or can't see how it will all work out, i get overwhelmed & tend to just do nothing.  which doesn't gain you a master's degree. 

so on this crazy journey of figuring out what the heck we're doing with our lives, i re-remembered - "hey!  i'd really like to get a master's degree.  & now that we're not really tied down to a job in a certain location, maybe it's time to go for it!" 

that was quickly followed by panic & all the questions of where & how & finances & recommendations & oh-my-gosh-the-GRE!  it was so overwhelming, that i almost quit before even starting!  hello overwhelm!

something inside me pushed through the fear. 
i pushed send on the embarrassing "hey do you remember me?  i was your student 10 (gulp) years ago...  can you write me a recomendation?" emails to old professors.  i asked about financial aid (as in "do you have 100% funding??!"), which was double embarrassing (so dumb!  why should not being able to afford $20K a year be embarrassing??!).  i didn't quit when i got the triple embarrassing "no, i don't remember you" email back.  i cringed, ate a brownie, & went on down the list of professors-that-might-possibly-have-a-clue-as-to-who-i-am.  when i couldn't find the "i went to college a decade ago, have had 2 kids, & lost lots brain cells" edition of the GRE study book, i just ordered 2 regular books instead.
this takes guts, people.

& now i'm blogging about it all with the fear in the back of my head that i might have to come back here & tell you i didn't get in.
yikes to the 9th power x 22.3

(really got to get to that math part.)

but i said i wasn't going to let fear motivate me anymore, so...

my name is kelly harp, i'm applying to baylor university for a master's in american studies & i'm kinda scared it won't all work out, but i'm trusting that Great Mystery that he knows what he's doing.

{i'm also trusting god doesn't get offended that i keep calling her a him, or him a her, or it a she.  might start mixing up my pronouns...}

so we might be moving to wacky waco, tx.  crazy town!  i'll keep you updated, my friends. 

until then i shall try to foment fervid feelings towards taking the GRE, possibly becoming quite garrulous as i seek to engender a more erudite vocabulary.

take THAT, GRE!
(okay, i totally looked @ my notes for that sentence, but still...)


nonna said...

We Aint Comin' Out!

JJC said...

good for you! jeff went to law school at 29 and just graduated this last december. we firmly believe in following god's plan for you, no matter how unusually timed it might be. he is SO much happier in his current job than he was before, and that's been good for all of us. and, law school was his 3rd career. i don't think it's ever too late to find a new passion.

he also ddi a master's degree(before law school) at UT (knoxville, the OTHER UT;) ), and he had a grad assistantship that paid for our housing, his school, his insurance, and meal plans for both of us. oh, and a fair stipend each month. there ARE programs out there that can really provide quite a bit while in school.

and, from what i was told when i took the GRE, you can raise your math score a lot faster than your language score. once you learn/master the math skills, you can apply them to many questions whereas there are thousands of english words to learn/study that may/may not be asked on the GRE. my undergrad profs in Speech Path highly encouraged us to raise the math score over trying to raise the language score. hope that is encouraging to you!

good luck! and, i'm having so much fun following your blog! i feel like we are in the same place in life while reading so many of your posts.

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